Running Away
by Ilovebooks1234
Summary: Winter Soldier's thoughts after his fight with Captain America within CA:TWS. (One-Shot)


**Running Away**

"Talking"

 _'thoughts'_

 _flashback_

* * *

Cars drove to and fro on the road in front of the man that sat on the bus stop bench. His leg bounced anxiously as he pulled his hood down farther to cover more of his face. He had taken an unzipped jacket off an unsuspecting drunk. The drunk had been in such a stupor that he hadn't noticed he didn't have a jacket on until the silent assassin was _long gone_ from the scene. The Winter Soldier pulled on his left sleeve, worried that someone might notice his unusually... _shiny_ arm. He licked his chapped lips and tried to blow the stubborn strands of hair that refused to be pulled back into the ribbon he had found on the ground and away from his face. Not once could he remember _ever_ being nervous. Then again, he couldn't really remember much anyway. He winced in pain when he moved his right arm. He had re-set it not too long ago and it was still pretty painful to move. A chubby man eating a burger passed by and the smell of food made the Winter Soldier's mouth water. Who _knew_ when he had last eaten? _Had_ he ever eaten before? Maybe.

The assassin checked the time off the iPhone he'd swiped off from an oblivious passing pedestrian. Sighing, he stood up and decided he had been in one place too long. It wasn't smart to stay in one location, especially if you were on the run from not one, but _two_ secret organizations. Or at least they used to be secret, until one of the SHIELD agents - he didn't know who - decided to bestow both SHIELD and HYDRA secrets onto the world.

As he came up to an intersection, pushing the walking button, he looked up to see a billboard across from him. The billboard had a picture of the American soldier that had been his last target. The mission he had _failed_. The Winter Soldier winced as he began to think up all the punishments that might have been given to him if he had gone straight back to HYDRA, like he was programmed to. Thoughts of HYDRA almost immediately brought up a… memory? Hallucination? Of a man with a red skull, fire burning around him. The image brought a sense of dread within the Winter Soldier and he couldn't understand why.

The white walking signal across the street lit up, alerting him and the few people beside him that it was safe to cross. The assassin looked back up to the billboard and noticed that it was advertising the new "Captain America Special Edition" displays in the Smithsonian. _Smithsonian._ He remembered that name, but where? Oh, right. He had taken a tourist's guide map out of someone's back pocket, thinking that it would help him. He had taken the same person's wallet, but there was nothing in it, but an I.D., a credit card, and a couple of coupons. He had discarded the wallet into the nearest dumpster. Taking the map out, he went on his merry way to find this Smithsonian.

The Winter Soldier looked at the displays around him in awe. There were so many things to look at… how did these people get the time to look at all of this? His eyes caught the sight of a group of kids awe-ing over the sight of an old World War II Air-Plane. He felt like he should have known the model, but couldn't think of it. The assassin continued on his way to the Captain America display room.

 _'_ _Whoa'_. That was the first thing he thought as he looked at all the displays inside the Captain America Exhibit. Everything in that room was familiar to him. It felt… almost home-y in here. Like everything in this room was normal and everything outside of this room was… _alien_ , new and unsafe. But that confused him. He knew how to use present day technology, he knew how to pilot present day airplanes, how to use computers, microwaves, toasters, and everything else that he could think of. It didn't answer his question though. He still felt more comfortable in this room, among the things of the early 1900s, than the things of present day. The assassin decided to not dwell on it now and to instead analyze the feeling later.

His eyes moved from one display to another eager to learn about his supposed passed self and, possibly, the past of the blue-eyed, blonde-haired American soldier that had been haunting him for the last couple of months. His eyes soon caught the sight of a section _entirely_ dedicated to James Buchanan Barnes. Greedily, the assassin read all that a display had to say about his past. He frowned a bit when he found he couldn't recall what was written down in front of him. He had begun to think that, maybe, the American soldier had lied to him, but the picture of James Buchanan Barnes right next to the text he had read silenced any doubt he had. The picture looked completely identical to what he looked like now. Well, besides the obvious change in "hair style" and the beard that he had grown onto his face.

 _'_ _Why?'_ He thought dejectedly, brokenly. _'Why didn't HYDRA want me to remember my past? At first I thought that they, as protectors from freedom, were protecting me from a horrid past...but...'_ He looked from the display that he had read to the display of mannequins that wore the Howling Commandos' suits and the painting of said Howling Commandos behind them. He looked from the drawing down to the very familiar suits. One of the suits, besides Captain America's, stood out from the rest to him.

 _'_ _...now i'm not so sure'_. He hadn't even known he had walked up to the display until he was standing right in front of the suit he couldn't lay his eyes off of. The suit melted out of existence along with everything and everyone else around him. His surroundings changed from a Smithsonian display room and into a battlefield.

 _The sound of machine guns were heard over the screams and cries of brave men being wounded or killed. War cries were another quite prominent sound. The Winter Soldier had a gun in his hand and was emptying it out of its bullets. Unconsciously, he went to find some more bullets, but he couldn't seem to be able to lift his left arm. Instead, his right arm, which was currently holding the gun, threw the weapon to the ground. He, without willing it, started to charge at someone who bore the unmistakable HYDRA symbol . The man was currently sneaking up behind an oblivious Captain America._

 _"_ _NO!" The yell tore through his throat as he involuntarily tackled the HYDRA-Nazi. The two started rolling around on the ground. The Winter Soldier trying to keep the HYDRA soldier from gutting him and the HYDRA soldier tried to get out of the Winter Soldier's strong hold. This continued until a yell startled the Winter Soldier._

 _"_ _BUCKY!" The assassin turned his head to see a red, white, and blue figure that was running towards him and the HYDRA man he was fighting. The distraction gave the man enough time to stab the Winter Soldier in the side. Pained, the Winter Soldier - Bucky? - let go of his hold on the enemy fighter and immediately grabbed a hold of his wounded side and the handle of the knife. Footsteps skidded to a halt near the assassin, but he was to pained to notice or even care. The Winter Soldier cursed at himself. He never allowed his missions a chance to gain an upper hand on him. Then again… he wasn't on a mission. He didn't even know where he was or how even got there in the first place. Panic and other confusing emotions that the brainwashed assassin wasn't used to began to set in._

 _"_ _Bucky!" A hand grabbed onto his shoulder and turned him around. The Winter Soldier tried to punch the "offender" with his left arm, but his arm didn't move to his commands… again. "Bucky" His eyes lifted up to meet the bright blue eyes of the man he was supposed to kill. The one that he allowed to live. For once in the Winter Soldier's life he couldn't bring himself to kill a target._

 _'_ _I knew him...'. The same phrase that always went through his mind when he saw the man that proudly wore the colors of his country._

"Bucky…" _Captain America's voice was starting to fade._ "...Bucky…" _His surroundings were starting to dissolve and change again._ "...Bucky!..." _The voice was coming back now. Louder and more demanding._

"Bucky, can you hear me?" The Winter Soldier blinked and inhaled sharply. He looked to his right when he felt a hand touch his shoulder. As a reflex his metal hand took the hand off his shoulder, forcing the man that touched him to twist around. Using this to his advantage, the assassin pinned the man's arm to his back and brought a hidden knife up to his neck. It took a moment for the Winter Soldier to comprehend his actions. And exactly _who_ he had a hold on. In this position the Winter Soldier couldn't help but think of how _easy_ it would be to kill Captain America right now and finish the mission that he started. His reasoning side, though, won over the bloodthirsty side he had gained over the years of being an assassin for an organization that felt that sometimes murders were... _necessary_ to keeping peace in the world.

He let go of his "hostage" before he started to give in to his darker side's desire. He, for some reason, felt the urge to flee, to get as far away from here, to keep the American soldier safe… from him. Quickly and efficiently, the Winter Soldier sheathed his knife back into its hidden place among his person. He suddenly noticed that there was not as many people in the display room as there had been previously and the people that _were_ , looked wearily at him.

"Bucky." His head snapped over to look back at his last target, his eyes narrowing.

"That's not my name." _That's not my name._ That one small sentence seemed to bring a pained look onto the man's, no, _Steve's_ face.

 _'_ _His name is Steve and he was my past self's… friend.'_ The Winter Soldier immediately felt guilty for saying what he said, but couldn't understand why.

"It was your name once." The melancholy in Steve's voice caused the Winter Soldier's stomach to churn. He felt the sudden urge to wrap an arm around the other man and tell him that everything was going to be alright, that everything was going to be just fine. But _he_ wasn't Steve's friend. He was merely a tool, a weapon… a broken shell of the man that once was. Bucky. He's not… he _couldn't_ be Bucky.

"If you're not Bucky…" Steve licked his lips and frowned. "then who are you?" The Winter Soldier hesitated. Who was he? He didn't know the answer to that. He was no longer a slave to HYDRA anymore, that was for sure. He wouldn't go back to them if _he_ had any say in the matter. And he _definitely_ wasn't Bucky….was he? The Winter Soldier shook his head and backed away.

"I…" He hesitantly started as panic began to settle in the pit of his stomach and he didn't even know why he was feeling this way! "...don't...know". He took a few more steps back. "I don't know." Steve started to walk towards him in concern, but it only caused even more panic to stir inside the assassin. "I DON'T KNOW! I DON'T KNOW!" The Winter Soldier sprinted out of the display room and out of the building. He ran and ran and ran until his panic began to subside. Leaning onto a building right next to him, he looked around where he was. And while he watched all the commotion that went on around him… he couldn't even feel any more alone than he already did. He was utterly alone and scared.

* * *

 **A/N:** So, this is an old work of mine. I thought that it was decent enough to post. And, I know, pretty much _everyone_ has made a story or one-shot like this. enjoy, anyway!


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